This is where I am right now. It is 4:30 and I am killing time with some self discovery until my acting class starts at 6pm. I love it so much and by that I mean the acting class. The “me time” can get boring but that’s part of it. I selectively spend time with my girls. I love my family but don’t make near enough time for them. I am just living the 23’s. This New Year for me started single and it’s the first time since I can remember. I have been sitting back watching all my girlfriends indulge in there boyfriends or fiancé’s. It’s cool though I am for once not gripping about it. Nope right now I am listening to Amy Winehouse and my idea of an early dinner was 5 club crackers. Okay I’m so screwed in this preliminary cook off against JC. I think I am capable of cooking something but I am not positive because I absolutely do not cook. The island in my kitchen has clothes on it. I wish I had that love for cooking. I am not creative with taste. I have friends who can see 5 random items in a fridge and make something delicious with them. I am not going to stress about it.
I opened my email today and I was so excited to see that my dad had emailed me from
Shanon set up an interview for me to do tomorrow about the book “The Bridal Wave” and I can’t wait. The authors are Erin Torneo and Valerie Cabrera Krause. I had not heard of it until today and after the 10 reviews I read and the 5+ interviews I think it’s brilliant. Erin and Valerie met in college and now they are about 29. They really capture young 20’s. I read there individual bio’s and I felt like it was about me. This isn’t another get a man and keep him book. This is a survival guide for all the “
I think maybe this is because girls like myself who’s friends are all in engaged or married tend to be the fifth wheel of our groups. Maybe if all the fifth wheels got together we would see that not everyone is ready to make the plunge or even get involved. I am right in the middle of carefree and frustrated. It makes no sense but it’s just a feeling.
posted by Taylor at 3:05 PM
23 Comments:
tay-you're not alone, a single girl in her 20's with married friends is a really tough place to be...but remember, as much as you envy their lifestyle, they envy yours more!!!
Being "lonely" and being "by yourself" are two different things. Let me say this from my personal experience; people who don't know how to spend times with themselves are in a way at a disadvantage in life. Once you figure out that being by yourself is not that bad then when you do find yourself in a relationship it makes it that much better. By our nature we're social beings and need other people; you just need to realize that you don't need someone all the time. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself, relax, enjoy what's in front of you now. There's a "special someone" out there for you Taylor and you'll find him or he'll find you in due time.
Taylor, Taylor, Taylor --
Please enjoy your 23s and beyond. I had so MUCH LIFE between 23 and the time I met the love of my life when I was 33. We just got married in January. And I am FIFTY-TWO! He is 38. I refused to settle for just any guy, so I had fun, went through a few, and then the moment I saw this one, I knew he was the one for me. Be flexible in your life, because listen to this -- though I knew he was for me, I did not want marriage, and this broke us up after 7 years together. He married on the rebound in a year to friend's little sister. No chemistry, no spark, nothing in common, but because they owned a hugely expensive house and couldn't do break out alone, the marriage went on way too long with them as roommates. he and I got back together (online, sight unseen for NINE years) That was three years ago. He moved 2000 miles back to be with me. I changed my position on marriage and we are now crazy-happy married. (we both grew up while apart)
Our story's not for everyone, but soulmates do appear and re-appear. But girl, if I had married at 23, I would have missed some amazing relationships and friendships with some awesome, brilliant, talented guys. I had a blast, never dated anyone over 30 (until my ex came back at age 36) and enjoyed life. So enjoy life by yourself, have fun, don't look at what others are doing. I didn't want children, so I could put things off longer. (yet I could still have them if I wanted, still got it at age 52!)
Enjoy, be young, don't LOOK for someone, don't worry about what you don't have. I have had the best life, and feel as if I started my life all over again in 2004, I feel 22, not 52. My husband is gorgeous, athletic, brilliant with the quickest wit. We're having a great time. I wouldn't trade the years after college for ANYthing, but I'm happily married and committed to that now. Be who you are in any situation, but don't be in a hurry to marry!
cheers,
nj
For some reason I thought I was reading Shanon's blog and it was very surprising to me. Then I realized I was reading your blog and it made more sense....I wish I read these blogs before tonight...watch lots of Food Network. You can learn alot. I have. At least I think I have...Good luck with the rest of the Battle of the Sexes...Kimberly
I'm 24 and feel exactly like you - and feel like we have simillar personalities. I've never been treated how I treat others (especially by boys). Instead, I've been cheated on and lied to and now have trust issues because of it. I hate being alone and my depression/adhd doesn't help. All my friends are married and pregnant and can't possibly make time for someone other then their family. It's annoying - it gets old but, I'm starting to learn that things happen for a reason and maybe, even though it sucks, we're being tought that we're stronger then we think we are.
Best of luck and I wish you'd blog every day! :)
Advice from a guy about guys: If he doesn't treat you with total respect, dump him; If he doesn't love his family (especially his mother) and treat them well, dump him; If he uses hair products, dump him; If he's afraid to tell you what he's thinking and feeling, dump him; If he won't watch a "chick flick" with you every now and then, dump him; If he'd rather spend more time with the boys than with you, dump him; If he doesn't do what he promises to do without good cause, dump him; If he doesn't have good character, dump him; If he doesn't open doors for you, dump him; If he doesn't have concern about how your days going, dump him; If he shaves any part of his body other than his face, dump him. I have a couple of guy friends who have most of the above listed qualities and for some reason they never seem to lack for the company of pretty women. Having said that their relationships ALWAYS end the same way....badly. I'm sure someone will say I'm shallow for listing the above reasons for dumping a guy but I can tell you, at least I believe, that if a guy can't muster a few basic qualities like the ones I've listed then he's a waste of time. Know your value as a person, don't put up with any crap from these guys, if that little voice in your head says, "move on", then listen to it. There are a lot of good guys out there so don't go looking for a "fixer-upper" or think you can change them for the better. They say by the time your twenty your personality is pretty much set. I am happily married and wouldn't change a thing. It took me a while to find her but I was persistent and didn't dwell on my situation in a negative manner when I was single. Being good at being single is just another step at preparing you for being in a realtionship. I think you have to be good at one to be good at the other. Good luck and don't put up with any bull*#@*.
To the poster above this one... Please ask your wife for your "pair" back.. You are soo whipped/brained washed that you should submit yourself to reassignment surgery! A real man would not even follow HALF of that list and if he did, then he is just pretending that he likes women!
There you go ladies! There's you a so called "real man" for you. At least he thinks he's one. He's the kind of guy you'll see at the video store buying videos from the back room because he can't get a real women to hang out with him. Sounds to me like the other guy was right on the money. Wise up dude, women like to be treated well. I bet he's got a bigger pair than you do and he actually gets to use his! Have fun at the video store and remember to switch hands every once in a while.
Typcial comment from a woman in denial! Using sex a a tool/ reward in a relationship. If Johnny is a good boy and behaves himself; he may get some. Ha, what a joke. This is one of the reasons why there are so many SINGLE women. Got no problem with PORN, or my hand. At least I can get mine without having to deal with all the headaches/ money loss a woman costs. Oh, by the way, there is always ANOTHER YOUNGER, HOTTER, and DUMBER women ready to service when I am ready too! Women are soo easy.. they areread like a book..
Well, one thing we know for sure is that if YOU ^^ wrote a book, we wouldnt be able to understand it. Hey Genius, use the spell check next time "dumber".
Taylor,
I just want you to know I know exactly how you feel about feeling like the 3rd or 5th wheel. I am now 30, but when I was your age ALL of my friends were getting married. I was just casually dating, then when I hit 25-26, ALL of my friends started having kids! I just felt so out of place, but I decided to go back to school and get my PHd...now that I am 30, I am finally in a relationship and getting married in a couple of months. I am so glad that I waited and played the field and did what was right for me at the time. Now those friends that were so desperate to get married at 24, are having problems and feel like their life is only their kids and husbands. I have all that ahead of me, plus since I waited, I now have the money I wouldn't have had in my 20's. You will be fine and you'll find someone at the right time!
You are single. Big freakin deal. Do you want an award? You are now a group of people you have named after yourself?? "Taylors"?? Ugh. Get over yourself. You'll make a great actress, you are entirely too self absorbed.
TAYLOR I THINK YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN I HAVE EVER SEEN... TEXT ME IF YOU WANT...I'M FROM S.A...210-896-1101..YOU HAVE MADE THE SHOW MORE INTERESTING SINCE YOU CAME ON...BYE BEAUTIFUL
Hey Taylor! I've stopped by the show twice in the past couple weeks. I like watching, though your back is always against the window.
You guys need to write more blogs! As if you didn't have enough going on, I'm sure!
See you guys again soon!
taylor, i felt like you did a few years ago. i was almost got married at 23. that would have been a big mistake. i also have friends that married young and now they are divorced. you may not think much can change in a few years, but it can, and guys in general will change. hell i did, and what i thought i wanted back then, is not what i want now. just have fun and god will lead you in the right direction.
-jr
smooth jazz 101.1 rox! i mean..umm..haha jk (is that even real??)
96.1 EVERY MORNING DRIVE TO SCHOOL, KIDD ROX!
Taylor, I fell asleep many times reading your post :) not because it was boring, I liked it, you're a very intriguing (and beautiful!) woman! Its because of my full time school/work schedule! But...upon eventual completion of your blog, I must let you know a lot of guys who are in their 20's and are single go through the same thing! I find a lot of my friends 'envy' me but it is I, who envy's what they have..someone. As stated, figure out who YOU are, and the right guy will appreciate what YOU have to offer him and he'll just hope he's good enough for you ;)
so..umm..having fridays and saturdays off..now living in TX (since Dec)..where's a great place to meet you single ladies who appreciate a poor, crazy, funny, half-sexy, animal/kid loving guy (not in that order)?
I tried detox, rear exits of bars as they close, and for some odd reason I have NO luck! wtf!
~derek ;)
myspace.com/dham99
taylor,
Do not let all those hateful comments bring you down. You are very talented and such a beautiful woman. So keep it up.
I kno this may be off topic on our blog but hearing you all speak on the radio and then looking at the pictures of you all. Yall sound nothing what you look like. But you are some kinda Beautiful!.... jus thought id tell ya an try to brighten up your day a lil bit.... God Bless
Southern Georgia Boy ;)
Tay...
Hey I read your blog. I just want you to know that I love listening to you on the show. You seem to have such a bright spirit, to love life with all that you have. Keep it up. You are a great girl!
Taylor hang in there and don't let these other people get to you. The haters are just jeolouse of you. And wish they could be not only a beautiful person on the outside but also a beautiful person on the inside. Leason to you all every morning. By the way just was able to see the video and you girls looked very good.
I think you are very sweet, and you add a lot to the show...I had my doubts at first, but I gave you a chance, and I really have warmed up to you. You have a great sense of humor and timing. One thing I gather from reading your blogs is you love to please people. I found a great website that might help you with that:
http://www.drlescarter.com/pleasersone.asp
It's a problem I've had all my life, too. It can really cripple you. Keep your chin up--you are going to be fine!
Have no reason to feel this way you are in control of your life. The key to happiness is making you happy no one else you and you only. We often worry how others feel. Just like you state you feel sick how people comment on YOUR life. It is YOUR life not theirs. You need to get out and have fun for you. No holds bar. You can never please others and yourself. That is why we as humans have these problems. I promise you listen to my words and heed my advise and things will get better. I live locally and would love to show you how to live by these rules. Just contact me take care and you were great in the kiddy cat vid.
Taylor, hang in there and you will be OK. You are great and don't you forget it!
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