I guess I should start with my break up. Not to much to say other than CB was a great person but I am just not ready to be full time girlfriend. I know that before Christmas most girls want that special someone to spend it with and as for me not so much. I started to distance myself a little bit and take a few days to think about what I wanted. I had limited time before our trip to Vegas where we were going to spend New Years together and it wasn’t in anyway fair to him to go if I thought that I couldn’t be there for him when we got back. I can handle being called a bitch at times but I will not be fake to go on some trip. I promised myself after Jessie and I broke up that I wasn’t going to lead anyone on. CB and I wanted two different types of a relationship and that is to be respected. We are in two different places in our lives. He was so nice and genuine and he deserves someone that is ready and willing to put forth the effort that is deserved. I can’t change the way I feel and shouldn’t have to I also won’t compromise what I want and what I have to offer someone. He should get what he wants and me the same. He will make someone very happy one day and I wish him the best in everything he does. I feel like so many people stay in a relationship because they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings when all your doing is prolonging the hurt you will cause them. I am not ready to be in a relationship at this point and thought I was. I wish breaking up was easy but it’s usually not and most of the time for the best.