I would say my weekend was somewhat productive and by that I mean I ate every piece of chocolate in sight. I am not feeling good at all so why is it that at the time of consuming my sweets I love it and now I feel worse. I would like to think all girls can relate to the time I am talking about, you know “once a month.” Midol is now my dinner and Tylenol Pm for dessert. Friday night I had the best time with everyone at dinner then we headed across the street to a bar called Cedar Street. I ran into an old friend who was the bartender and the “B” people are always the best to know when you’re going out on the town. Bartenders, bouncers, and bar backs. LOL
Saturday I woke up really early and took my mom to pick up her car at the dealership. I’m not sure what was wrong with it but the point was that I got to spend time with her just talking and catching up. She started doing some volunteer work and I am really happy for her because now that Tanner, Tyler and I are pretty much grown well except for Tyler who is the only one that still lives at home she can meet new friends and not feel lonely. My parents are still married but my dad works a lot so this will give her an opportunity to have more of her own life that isn’t just about the 3 of us. I love my family and this past week we go to spend time together which was awesome.
After I took my mom my friend Jennifer called me and said that she was coming over and we would go to lunch. I love those Saturday’s that are just completely open with no real obligation and wine at lunch. I am about to move out of the lofts I am in and so I am kind of freaking out because I feel like there is so much I still have to do for example finding a place to live. Okay so I drove Jen by these lofts in downtown that I am looking at and she approved I mean I don’t need approval but I do love my friend’s opinions. The area is a little sketchy but the police station is next to them so I figure that’s pretty safe right? Next stop FOOD! Jen and I went to Café Express and it was delicious although Jen ate most of mine so the few bites I did have of my soup and salad were amazing and the wine was even better. Jen is a bartender so she had to be back early which cut our late lunch a little short. OMG I almost forgot before Café Express we drove through downtown and there was an anti Bush rally so we stopped and chanted along for a few minutes. I am not sure if President Bush was in town and no one could give us an answer so we didn’t stay to long. “HONK FOR PEACE”
I took Jen back and then went back home for some lazy down time before I met up with Lindsey and Crystal. We decided to go to Addison and apparently so did everyone else in Dallas because everywhere we went was packed. The valet was a 20 min. wait the line to get in was 10min. and to get a drink was 30min. the girls bathroom was another wait and then when Lindsey, Crystal and I maneuvered our way to the front of the line it smelled so bad. Someone threw up all over it and from the way the staff seemed to be non existent I knew it would be that way for a long time. GROSS!! I couldn’t take it any longer it’s one thing to go out and have it wall to wall people all doing the same thing but the fact that it was a very pretentious snobby spot I was over it! We all left and headed to the great hole in wall that had open tables and fun music. I saw this adorable guy sitting with a table of friends both girls and guys. I am not usually down to meet a guy at the bar but he was very cute. He had on a scarf, skinny jeans, a vintage t-shirt and kick ass shoes. He was laughing with his friends and gave off a sweet vibe but when you’re with a group of people it’s intimidating walking up to them and introducing yourself. Lindsey’s boyfriend Jeremiah was there and definitely mocked my taste in guys. Long story short his name was Cameron he was in a band and going to school. Sounds great right? He was 21 and not that it’s a bad thing but I am 22 and I would really like to meet someone a little older and not in school. He then went on and on about his mom and there bad relationship. I felt like that was something that is obviously upsetting to him but not for a first conversation at the bar. It progressively got worse when his friends that were really drunk insisted on 20 questions and I turned bright red. I was a little uncomfortable by this point and really self conscious because I felt like they were all picking me apart with the pseudo interrogation. Last call! WHEW! I survived a night at the bar. I said goodbye to Cameron and grabbed my friends we all hugged and called it a night.

I guess I should start with my break up. Not to much to say other than CB was a great person but I am just not ready to be full time girlfriend. I know that before Christmas most girls want that special someone to spend it with and as for me not so much. I started to distance myself a little bit and take a few days to think about what I wanted. I had limited time before our trip to Vegas where we were going to spend New Years together and it wasn’t in anyway fair to him to go if I thought that I couldn’t be there for him when we got back. I can handle being called a bitch at times but I will not be fake to go on some trip. I promised myself after Jessie and I broke up that I wasn’t going to lead anyone on. CB and I wanted two different types of a relationship and that is to be respected. We are in two different places in our lives. He was so nice and genuine and he deserves someone that is ready and willing to put forth the effort that is deserved. I can’t change the way I feel and shouldn’t have to I also won’t compromise what I want and what I have to offer someone. He should get what he wants and me the same. He will make someone very happy one day and I wish him the best in everything he does. I feel like so many people stay in a relationship because they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings when all your doing is prolonging the hurt you will cause them. I am not ready to be in a relationship at this point and thought I was. I wish breaking up was easy but it’s usually not and most of the time for the best.

I’m sorry for the lack of blog entries I am going to do better I promise!!! I was trying to write about my day not that long ago and I went blank I couldn’t type it was weird. I actually didn’t have much to say so I decided to practice my creative writing skills and this is what I came up with……I leave this open for interpretation I know what it means but I feel like it can go so many different ways depending on where you are at in your own life. This story is very personal to me with many feelings behind it.


The Petal-

What do you do when you find the most beautiful soul imaginable? Here's what I would do …Think of the most delicate object you can. I am going to use a petal, 1 single petal that has come from a tulip. This will act as a tangible soul. I am fascinated at what I have found I am mystified as to why I have found it. Here is me and I am walking alone at night the temperature outside is below freezing. My head is down because the wind is blowing so hard that my eyes burn when I look forward. As I am walking I see this pale yellow petal hooked to a piece of grass at the edge of the sidewalk. There is no tulip just the petal. It's whipping fast back and forth I see the struggle and the fight. It's heartbreaking but I can't take my eyes of it. There are so many thoughts running through my head. Where is the rest of it? How it is still hooked on the blade of grass? The obvious would be why is there a tulip petal even in existence 6 months before spring? I have no answer to any of these because I realize they don't matter. What matters is what I do next. I bend down and I look to see what's holding it there. This petal is struggling to let the wind take it and yet it's stuck. Now that I have stopped and I am paying attention to the petal I see that the bottom which was once connected to the tulip has a tiny stem and that stem is wedged in a crack on the sidewalk and the tear on the side of the petal is hooked to the tall thin blade of grass. I take off my gloves and use both hands. I slip the blade of grass out of the tear and pull gently on the stem to release the sidewalks grip. The tip of the stem came off and stayed in the crack by the blade of grass but the petal was free. I cup my hands together and continue walking with the petal inside. I look back and see my gloves laying there on the ground I question going back for them but that would mean a possibility of losing or destroying the petal. My hands suddenly didn't feel so cold anymore because my focus is to keep the petal safe and hurry home to look at what I have found. Most people I believe would have kept walking and never noticed because it wasn't the entire flower. Most people if they did see it wouldn't even think twice about a petal and keep on going.

-Taylor Glover

New year a fresh start and a great way to start 2007 and have a positive outlook on dating. Last night I had Lasik done and it is amazing. I could see immediately and the Valium was hard hitting so my sleep has never been better. My mom took care of me last night, she drove me there and then back to my old house where she put me in her bed. My dad is out of town so it worked out perfectly. I miss having the mom take care of me and I know she loves to do it. It is the greatest feeling in the world being able to see without my glasses or contacts. Thanks Dr. Whitman so much! Okay now as for dating I am open to having fun but I don’t want a boyfriend at this time in my life. I am going to enjoy my girls and my family because the guys can wait.