I feel like there is so much going on in my life that I don't know exactly where to start. I am at a place where I am making my own desicions and forming my own opinions apart from what I was raised to think. I don't just mean religion and politics other things such as inter racial dating, my views on homosexuality. I realize I am being ver PC but those are just topic examples. My life has had it's up and downs much like everyone. I do think my story has many dark moments. I moved to California in May of 2004. I went with a boyfriend (Jessie) and we didn't have much of a plan. That year away was life changing in a way I feel like I lead a double life. I experienced what I thought was the loneliest time without my family and friends. I gave Cali its fair chance and then made the decision to change what I thought was a horrible and beautiful experience. Austin Texas don't ask me why but in June of 2005 that is where I moved. Jessie and I did the 22 hour drive to a new start. Things were so amazing and we were getting along and had built our relationship and were getting ready for marriage. He tattooed my initials on his ring finger as re assurance. I thought its was so hot! I love that tattoo, eyeliner wearing bad boy image. Dark hair is also a plus. Sorry I just lost track and started obsessing again. I have serious ADD. Were was I oh yeah It was April when my relationship went from great to depressing. I became so withdrawn hardley ever getting out of bed or talking to anyone. There were nights that he wouldn't even come home. After the first time I stopped asking and lived in complete denial. I would wake up go to work and come home. I was so over all of it. I couldn't believe I let things get so bad and hateful. I finally broke away called my parents and thats when they drove down and with the help of my brothers packed my apt. up in a matter of hours. I have always been so close to my family I have put them all on a pedastal. Now heres were I am at in my life. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I do have my issues with weight and my ex boyfriend but over all I am really so happy. I feel like I for once thought about myself and did something I am proud of. I love the challenge and the ability to things that are silly and creative. I have no problem laughing at myself because I truley am a huge nerd. I accept that, and I am confident knowing it. Right now my drama is me. I am losing motivation to feel good. I have always battled weight issues. I don't have an eating disorder and I never really have had one. Unless constantly obsessing about it is one? I associate skinny with being feminine and the bigger I get the more I feel like a boy. I can't completely explain it its just a feeling I get within myself. I am hoping this week I will get over my lazy ways and work out or atleast get some sun on my face because I do believe the sun helps my mood. Oh and as far as Jessie goes well thats a long long story with what is happening but I am more than willing to start sharing on future blogs. My myspace is www.myspace.com/taylorglover feel free to ask me anything.
XOXO
Taylor
PS: I am working on my grammer so please don't be to critical. The truth is I never really learned exactly how to write correctly with my punctuation and it is embarrassing but I am trying.
XOXO
Taylor
PS: I am working on my grammer so please don't be to critical. The truth is I never really learned exactly how to write correctly with my punctuation and it is embarrassing but I am trying.
posted by Taylor at 6:37 PM
11 Comments:
Why dont you think very hard about the real reason yall fought for so long and why in the world would you put yourself back in a relationship with a guy like that. He did you wrong in more ways than you probably even realize. As soon as you got out of that relationship your life got really good again. Do you not love yourself enough to keep moving up or do you need the insanity of having a no good guy in your life to bring you down. You deserve so much better than a relationship that was filled with lies and deception. As much as you want to believe he might change he wont. He didnt come home some nights you said. Do you think he used condoms, probably not. He endangered your life and didnt even think twice about it. Do you really want to have to constantly worry about where he really is and what he is doing every second of the day. You are smart and beautiful, learn to be comfortable in your own skin. You seem to lack confidence in yourself but it will come in time. You have what so many people envy and if you get back with him you will be throwing it all away. Be smarter than the rest of the dumb girls who believe guys over there own instincts.
Hey, I wish you the best on this situation, I have been there and lived that life for far too long. Prince Charming is what I refer to my ex as - he knew what to say and when to say it. He knew every loop hole and how to lie without lying. It was truly heartbreaking when a friend of the family called my mom and said that he had gotten his ex pregnant - she was someone I had known was still in his life and my gut told me it was wrong from the beginning but I chose to ignore that because I was blind and thought I was blissfully happy. Well my world came crashing down and then I took a breather and went to dinner and met the man I am now married to - and it's still a mistake. Please please please don't get into that again - you have every reason to raise your standards - cut him out girl, that's the only way you can truly move on but also don't do what I did and fall for the first thing that comes your way? I put this guy on a pedastol and just thought he was perfect - well then reality set in and I realized I really wasn't in a better position, the guys name is just different. Now I'm stuck in this marriage and have to figure out how to get myself financially stable so I can move out. It's so hard because all you remember are the good times - it's so easy to forget those lonely nights, but use sticky notes, write on your hand, use lipstick on the mirror, just do something please to make it stick in your mind the bad parts. The bad boys are a phase - everyone has them - you just don't marry them. Please please please don't get trapped - it's a horrible situation to be in. Change your number and move on, forget his - block yourself from calling it something - please, I just don't want to see you in the same situation, you have my hindsight to use - please do so. I have you in my thoughts and prayers and I wish you the best.
Really enjoy your candor, Taylor. I have a 24 yr. old daughter who is on husband #2, who made a baby with her pre-wedlock, which I hope you will not ever experience should you and the ex reinitiate intimacy.
Sounds like the Dallas life becomes you and the contribution you enthusiastically add to Kidd's show is enthralling. I wonder how you'll achieve greatness during Kellie's maternity leave- anticipating wonderful things from you!
Rock on in the free world, Hans
XOXO
just to name a few.
I hope you don't stay with that guy, it can only be bad news in my opinion.
On a different note I just want to say that I think you are doing awesome on the show. You are a great addition and I hope you stay on longer than 6 months. Good luck with everything.
Taylor,
You really have so much to offer everyone who listens to the show. Put some of the enthusiasm and passion you have for the show into working on yourself. I am 25 and I personally think that the things I went through between age 19-25 are the hardest things many young people experience but those events that take place are also going to make you learn more and grow as a person. I am a completely different person than I was when I was 22, It has not been that long ago that I was feeling the exact same things you are going through. The only advice I can give is to be a strong woman and love yourself. Give yourself time to grieve but then move on and do what is best for you in that moment, no one knows what you need and want better than you. Sometines it takes making the same mistake more than once for us to really learn. I have a lot of respect for you for putting yourself out there, is is difficult to do but awesome to see how many people have had the sam experiences as you, hang in there!
it probably wont work out with that guy. So ask yourself is it worth it to put yourself through that again. He will do what he did to you again even though he promises not to. You probably want to beleive him but deep down you have to know he is lying.
big money foosball it is. yay for me. lets pretend i guessed correctly, and i won absolutely nothing which is totaly neat-o.. wee
you know, so is this like oh and lets continue and recreat or whatever ,i remember that and nothing else.
Just a general comment. You're such a princess and I don't mean that in a good way. You have never been told "no" before, have you? You throw a hissy if you don't get your way. I hate listening to you on the radio because you think you know more than anyone else and you give Kellie a hard time. Kidd voted for Morgan.
"Just a general comment. You're such a princess and I don't mean that in a good way. You have never been told "no" before, have you? You throw a hissy if you don't get your way. I hate listening to you on the radio because you think you know more than anyone else and you give Kellie a hard time. Kidd voted for Morgan."
Here's an idea: get off your high horse.
Jeez, some people..
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