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*** This is a story, and they are my thoughts that I am just typing out loud. There is a lot of creative punctuating through out this blog so commenting about it is not necessary. Think of this rant just talking out loud and then hopefully it will make more sense***


My afternoon on the computer:
Hmm. I should get some work done on the computer today.
Must get work done…

1. reply to all work emails
2. call Dr. Jones about ADD medicine
3. check news and pop-culture
4. come up with Roommate Roulette challenges
5. come up with new and ingenious bits for the show

I sit down at the computer and…

I am trying not to waste time but, the only website that comes to mind is myspace.
Time playing/not working: 20min

Okay, focus Taylor !

“Hmm…I wonder what Britney Spears is doing right now?” I couldn’t stop myself! I tried! Until, I quickly became victim of X17online. It’s my favorite celebrity/blogger website.
Time playing/not working: 23min
( I am actually embarrassed to admit that.)
Imagine, what I could have been doing for 23min? Please tell me, because that is lame! I need to kick my addiction of celeb gossip.
“No, umm NO but for serious!”
(Name that movie quote and you will receive bonus points!!!)

Back to typing blog/ calculating progress…

I just spent 7 min. coming up with the perfect movie quote for my gossip segment.

Back to the internet,

Yahoo music time! YAY! I love checking out new/old music.
(All the while I am saying to myself…)
AHHH!! Work don’t play!
Then, I somehow managed to justify my urge to play around on the greatest music download site after i-tunes. (lol) So I did and…
Time learning/not working: 1hr 37min

Oh FACE!!
Guess who finally completed a task on my things to task list???
ME!
I called Dr. Jones and made an appt. Thank you Adderall

Back to the internet,

I open my email and start scanning the page for fun fwd’s. As usual they all sound lame or NOT FUNNY. Next, I look at who is sending the email and if it is work related.
I guess technically they are all work related, so I will open in order of greatest to least from my “Favorite people” category all the way down to “A total beating” category. Oh wait, HOLD ON … I will do that as soon as I check my myspace again. It will only take a minute.
Time kind of working/mostly wasting: 14min


Back to the internet,
Now I am obsessively refreshing my emails too make sure I am not missing a fun fwd. before I start working.

Back to the internet,
How did that happen? How did I end up on youtube?
I decided just to go for it. So, I check every combination from Top Rated: Today all the way to page 6 of Most Discussed: This month.

Nothing that I thought was really super interesting. Although I did stumble on “The Hills Report” and the view count hasn’t changed. BUMMER =(
Time playing/not even trying to work: 43min

Back to Work,
OMG! I am so tired. (Dramatic Yawn)

Can I consider this blog work? Hmmm…

Blog cont.

I stopped typing this blog 2 hours ago. It is now 7:51pm. Just in case you were one of those strange people who likes to annoy by constantly mapping out time.

The point is I am back. Here’s what I did for…… THE PAST 2 HOURS!!!

I started at google news, then to Worst Advertising/TV Commercial.com, a few underground parody sites for funny material and videos, a little youtube action, The NY times science page…It was actually really interesting.
What job do we have now that did not exist 5 years ago?
A: digital forensics
It studies pictures for FBI and is used in court to verify if a picture is authentic.

Star Magazine is being accused of manipulating pictures. More on that case later.
Dr. Farid is an engineer who was involved in creating software blah, blah, blah… He is probably going to be every celebs new bff. Not to prove there innocent, because they are everything but innocent. If he can break the system down, then he is probably a genius at photo shop.

Over the science thing, so I clicked a link that landed on Allen Ginsberg. An American Poet during the 60’s. He spoke out against the Vietnam War in his most famous poem “Howl”. I really truly enjoy history. WWII is my favorite war to read about and by favorite I mean most interesting. The Vietnam War is what I am into right now because it is the war that changed and impacted music the most.

So far, it is fascinating!

Wow, I just shared my internet experience with you. I am feeling vulnerable now so I am going to watch “The Hills”.

Later!

PS: check out The Hills Report it is on my myspace
myspace.com/taylorglover

Please go watch "The Hills Report".

You do not have to watch The Hills to understand the report. I took 3 scenes from the show and decided to break it down. Their are a few skits involved, for your viewing pleasure. Feel free to post your comments on "youtube" and I hope you are not disappointed. You can search "youtube" for The Hills Report or you can go to the link on kiddlive.com.
I like the 2nd one better than the 1st, but that is my personal opinion. With all this said, I will let you watch it and decide for yourself.
Have a great day!

XOXO
Taylor

I would like to say to my mom “I am so proud of you!” She passed her test and is now a licensed esthetician. I am hoping she will work for a plastic surgeon. I would love to get my lips done!! (lol) Plus, I know she would prefer to work for a plastic surgeon as opposed to working in a spa. My mom deserves everything she wants. She worked so hard raising us and now this is something for her.
(On a side note…If anyone knows of a doctor that is looking for an esthetician in the Dallas area please let me know.)

YAY! My dad is finally home from China. He was there for about 3 weeks. I love that he has never given up on his dream. I believe in him and our family. Hopefully things will pick up and the toothbrush will take off.

Tyler is in the top 5 for homecoming court. He is so funny about it. He can be pretty shy so it makes me laugh seeing him go through what I went through. We are 7 years apart so it is natural for me to want to protect him and take care of him. I was the same way with Tanner even though we are only 2 years apart. If you have 2 younger brothers you will understand what I am talking about.

My week was such a rollercoaster. I am crazy busy one day and then chill the next. Chillin’ is hard work but it is much more fun to do.
I finally got a new cell phone!! Heck yes! I have been showing off my grungy old cell for about a year now and it was horrid. Last weekend I was in a bit of a mood so when my cell wouldn’t stop going off I took action. Hmmm…What action did I take? I threw it until it was in about 3 pieces. It felt like the logical thing to do at the time. Okay, probably not the best way to fix a faulty phone. I am paying for it now. O’well!

I have been doing “The Hills Report” and I am having fun with it. You can watch it on kiddlive.com or my myspace. Yes, I do love the show. I think it has moments of complete stupidity, relatable and laughable situations, moments of vulnerability, and superficial emotions. I love it.
My favorite shows are…
1. The Office
2. Entourage
3. The Sarah Silverman Program
4. Flight of the Concords
5. The Hills
6. Curb Your Enthusiasm
I love self aggrandizing, awkward humor.

Is anyone anticipating Voodoo Fest this year as much as I am? The line-up is sick! Just Google Voodoo Fest 2007 and it will give you the website for the line up. OMG!

I am happy the weekend is here. I am going out to Kenichi for Les’s b-day and then they are hittin’ up Ghostbar. I just have to say this because I am very much against it. I hate Ghostbar! I won’t go there. I would rather not stand around in some pretentious club that makes everyone pay to sit down. LAME! I get the VIP effect they are trying to go for, but when your there all you will see is a bunch of old women 55+ giving dirty looks to the younger girls, overpriced drinks, and $30,000 dollar millionaires trying to ass grab.
Ummmm… no thanks!
I am however pumped about seeing Les and going to eat delicious sushi at Kenichi. YUMMY!!

My weekend kicked off as planned. I wish that was true. I ended up spending time with friends and listening to great music. I was honored to meet one of the greatest underground musicians ever. Joseph Arthur is who I am talking about. If you are playing around on yahoo music or myspace then check this guy out. A friend of mine knows a friend who was talking to him after his performance. She saw us and motioned to come join the conversation. I have to say it was a definite highlight. I shook his hand said thank you for the great show and then went on about my night. I was fully satisfied musically so we decided to order one more drink and then call it a night.

I wish I had a camera when dance, dance, street party went down. She and I are minding our own business when the scene from “She’s All That” became real. I kid you not. I look up when the song “Cupids Shuffle” was in the background, coming from a bar. A girl who knew every step started to dance in the street, and then 40 more joined her. It was the funniest blink twice, is this happening moment of the weekend.

My intentions were to have a lazy Sunday. Keyword: intentions. I got up early, which after the night before is shocking. I went to meet JC at the Gay Pride Parade. We had to do a Happy Couple bit. I don’t want to brag but my butt was grabbed 3 times and if I was…I’m just saying she would be hot. LOL

I put up a new myspace picture and I have received as of today 90 emails saying I look like Jennifer Aniston. I don’t really see it but that’s just me. Thank you to those who meant it to be a compliment. I hate it when people don’t say what they mean by something. When someone says; “Hey you are tan.” What do you say to that? Is it a compliment or an observation?

I found a petition to get me off the show on Friday. It had 4 signatures until 5:30pm when I submitted mine. I would hate it if I didn’t get the chance to sign it.

The Emmy’s were on last night and when 30 Rock won for best comedy I decided Hollywood is officially old. I like Tina Fey but to beat out Entourage, and The Office. Are they serious? Those are my top 2 favorite shows. The comedy is priceless. I was disappointed but over all it was nice. I only watched the last 20 minutes so that might be why I didn’t think it was a total beating.

The vacation seemed like an eternity. I know it was only a week but it truly felt never ending. In a good way it was great to have time to do whatever. I took full advantage of "whatever" and kept it pretty low key. Here's a bit of drama for you to think about. friend of mine is dating this guy. She really likes him and is still in that phase where she gets nervous when they hang out. Here is the issue: She was helping him move his room around because he just bought new furniture. He threw out most everything and cleaned out all of his junk drawers. He is pretty honest and straight forward with her about everything. She was moving a stack of papers and books when a packet of pictures fell out. Normally, you wouldn't think much of it until he did a baseball dive to retrieve them. She looked at him and said, "Oh, what was that about?" He being the honest guy said, "Ummm...Sorry those were (sexy nude) pics of my ex." Wow! She wasn't expecting that honest of an answer. She got quiet but kept on helping him with a forced smile and a million questions that she couldn't ask. Why did he keep them? Does he still talk to her? Why did you have to open the "EX FILES"? What does she look like? Can you ask him about it? She asked me what I thought. I am not sure what to think but I do know it would hurt my feelings. Wouldn't you want to sneak a look? I think if it had been me I would have dismissed it and then prayed he would leave the room to get something so I can steal a look. I know what you might be thinking. That those are his and it was in the past. I don't care. I would have this dying need to see them and destroy them. Under the radar of course. To the guys with this secret...Why do you keep them? Would you have said what they were? Oh, and What the Hell? I just get curious and to be completely honest I think I wouldn't be able to control the curiosity. Is it just me? Who knows how you would react. I guess the whole thing would depend on what day it was. I do have to say, I give the guy MAJOR props for his honesty.
xoxo

Tay's Anatomy

I hate to blog and here is why. I post a blog about what is going on in my life and I get comments that are so hateful and cruel that I can't bare the thought of reading them. I am fully aware of my grammatical errors and I am truly trying to get better. I am embarrassed sometimes that I don't always know the correct way to punctuate.

I have found myself in a slump over the past few months and I can't seem to get out of it. I have laid in my apartment, defeated, and and when I finally get in front of the computer to put my thoughts out there I read that someone wants to "gut me" and I shut down. I can't even tell you how much that hurts.

I feel like the hate is becoming so much more evident and I don't know what to do. I get up most days and try to not let negative people break my spirit. I love to laugh and smile (not a creepy one, the only one I have, because it is honest). I love to work on this great show and share my experiences thus far but it has finally beaten me. I hear people when they judge me and read about it when they post nasty messages. Today is one of those days when I have had to read about it. I am so sad and upset that I feel like I had to address it. I wish I had thicker skin so that other people's opinions don't affect me, but I don't.

My heart is racing and I am sick to my stomach thinking about everything I have just read. Do you know the feeling you get when you find out your partner is cheating or when you mess up so bad the thought of disappearing seems like your only option? I don't know what to do anymore but I am tired of feeling this way. It seems like no matter what I say or do I am constantly criticized for it. Yes, I take pride in my appearance and like to feel pretty. I am not always successful at it but I try. I don't understand why this is such a bad thing. Why does that make me shallow?

Do you ever regret an impression you have made on people? I'm talking about the kind that makes you look back and wish you had never opened your mouth. Well, over the past year I have been given an amazing opportunity and I feel like I am screwing everything up. I'm so new at this and I work with people who have been doing it forever and they're SO good.

I am not trying to defend myself or come off as a victim as much as I am wanting to open up and grow. I am 23 and feel like the mistakes I make are all learning experiences.

If you look at my childhood you would probably say it seemed ideal. If you got to know me, you would learn that it was just as screwed up and had problems just like anyone else. I have in the past put myself in stupid situations. I have not always had the best judgment. Sometimes I have misunderstood what I'm being told. So what! I am learning from all of it. Find me someone you think is "perfect" and I'll show you someone you don't know very well. We all have flaws. I have plenty. We all have secrets, and quirky qualities but that to me that is what makes people beautiful. I was raised to be self-aware physically and always keep up appearances. I am going through this self discovery and just now realizing that inner beauty lasts so much longer. I have always been weight conscious and insecure about my body. In my defense, find me a 23-year old girl who isn't. I sometimes resent that I have been able to hide behind my appearance and that I haven't had to show people that I have a brain and feelings. Sometimes I blame my parents but they tried their best and now here I am desperately trying to figure all this out on my own. I know that it is much more appealing to be self-deprecating and self-critical. I don't understand that. They say my generation is full of fake self esteem and we have no reason to be proud. Why? Maybe what we lack in self-awareness we make up for in positive attitude. Not just about ourselves but others too. Maybe?

Yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine who also happens to be somewhat of a mentor. She took the time to explain to me a concept I have been completely clueless about. This was so enlightening that it broke my heart that I had missed this lesson somehow.

When I told her about missing my flight, She said that I should have been at the airport earlier. I said, "Are you serious? It wasn't my fault the parking garage was full and the security line that I was standing in was shut down for 10 minutes so they could inspect a bottle of hairspray!" So, instead of taking responsibility for missing my plane. I was trying to explain to her it wasn't anyone's fault and I was an hour early and I had just run on some bad luck. She stopped to hear me out and listened to me go on and on about the parking and what happened at security. then she asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks. She said, "Is it possible it was your fault?"

It hit me like a ton of bricks. What the hell? Why did I think my justification took away the responsibility and blame? I finally get it. What she said finally clicked for me. It was MY fault. All those other people made the plane. How about a little personal responsibility?

When she finally said, "Taylor, admit it you messed up and you have no excuse for missing the plane," it sounded so negative and I didn't want to hear it. It made me feel like a failure and a disappointment. I think I was reflecting back on all my other screw-ups so it was hard to hear what I realized was the truth.

This doesn't mean I am a bad person, it's just being honest with myself and saying it is no ones fault but my own. I can't always plan for my mistakes but I know now that learning from them means taking full responsibility accepting the consequences. The flight situation was not the biggest deal in the world but I have nearly lost my credibility when it comes to being on time so it was pretty important.

I can't say much more than this today and I am not sure this makes sense but this is what is pressing against my heart so hard that it's all I could write.

Now it's back to the message board for another bashing I'm sure!

-----------Tay
(And yes I can write Tay because that is what my friends call me and I would like to think that the people reading this are just that.)